Most people really want to be forgiven when they sin or hurt others. Forgiveness is a gift, and a two-step process; it must be given and it must be received. (Please, if it is given and not received, pray that it is also received; you have done your part.) The process is not complete until both steps have been achieved. I think of three reasons why forgiveness is not completed:

  1. Pride – A person that does not admit guilt cannot be forgiven because acknowledgement is not present. Jesus tells us that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to will forgive us “ (1 John 1:9). Pride and Stubbornness are two strongholds that will prevent the process from competition. We are told to repent “so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19).
  2. Unforgiveness – Jesus tells us that we must forgive others for God to forgive us (Matt 6:14-15). Remember, forgiveness does not say that it did not happen or that the person was right. It releases you from your own self-imposed bondage. Unforgiveness is a cancer that eats at the soul. Many times, we hold bitterness or anger at the person that wronged us and that person has given little thought to the situation. He or she is not in bondage, it is you with the cancer.
  3. Unworthiness – a person is forgiven but cannot receive because of guilt or shame. Some people believe that the offense was so great that it can never be truly forgiven. What does this attitude say about your beliefs concerning the Lord? Is He lying when He says you are forgiven with true repentance?

When we sin against our brother, it is not always easy to address. The Lord tells us to, “Confess your sins to one another … that you may be healed” ( James 5:16). The results can be healing to the relationship and/or the release from bondage. But there may be times that confession cannot occur or the confession will not bring healing. In those cases, the confession to the Lord is always attainable. Pray and ask the Lord to lead you to the best way to heal. When we keep sins and emotions inside of us, we open ourselves up to pain, physical maladies and the attacks of the enemy. Psalms 32:3 says, “I kept my sin in and my bones wasted away”.