But God sent him to me…That is a statement from many women that I hear when the euphoric feelings have subsided, and the relationship is not as expected. Many of these women got involved in relationships because they were lonely and believe that they are missing out if there is not a man in their lives.  Many have prayed and have accepted a “wolf with sheep’s clothing” rather than waiting and being content in the singleness.  Relationships are difficult and require effort. But before we accept what has come in our lives, assuming he is the answer to prayer or that he is God sent, we must understand that God will not send you anyone that will pull you away from Him.

First of all, the bible tells us that we should not be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14).  This is in all relationships whether business or dating for marriage.  So, what is a yoke?  A yoke is a wooden beam normally used between a pair of oxen or other animals to enable them to pull together as a team. If they are unequally yoked, one may be weaker than the other or taller than the other.  When they are unequally yoked, they are not working equally and are at odds with each other; the task before them is difficult to achieve.  An example of being unequally yoked, is a believer dating an unbeliever. A believer walks in the light and an unbeliever is in the dark. What can “light“ have in common with “darkness” (2 Cor 7:14)? You both may enjoy sports, music etc., but light and darkness follow two different masters.  Christ tells us to deny ourselves, take up your cross and follow Him (Mark 8:34).  How can a believer expect the unbeliever to follow a master who demands absolute faithfulness, if he is listening to a different master and has no commitment to Jesus?  How can there be a harmonious relationship when the “yoke” is beginning pulled in two different directions. If the relationship is for marriage, God’s plan is to live as one flesh (Mark 10:8).  A relationship so intimate that one person becomes a part of the other.  How can this happen when uniting a believer with an unbeliever? No one can serve two masters, for he will hate the one and love the others or be devoted to one and despise the other (Matt 6:24).

I hear many individuals say, “but this person is a Christian”. We all know that anyone can claim to be something they are not.  God would never send a man or women into a believer’s life that would take the focus off Him.  Many people call themselves followers of Christ because they stated a prayer, got baptized or go to church.  A true Christian believes in Christ and follow His commandments. If this individual takes your eyes off Christ and now you find yourself struggling to follow Him, or sinning just to please the person, can this person be a blessing from God?  I have spoken to many women that want to abstain from fornication but return to the sin to please the man. This is idolatry; putting the man before God. Jesus tells us that fornicators and Idolaters will not see the kingdom of God (1 Cor 6:9).  He does not say you will not be judged because you went to church or use His name in prayer.  If this person, “sent to you by God”, encourages pre-marital sex or does not agree with putting God first (Mat 6:33), he or she is not a true believer.

Being equally yoked is for your protection.  Waiting for God to send someone that have the same spiritual beliefs, values and commitment to the Lord is far more rewarding than struggling to keep God first in your life. We need to learn to be content in all circumstances and that includes while we wait on Him (Phil 4:11-13).  Contentment is a decision, not a feeling. It’s a determination to be satisfied with what God has given you.  The Lord knows your heart and when you are ready to receive.

While you are waiting, shift your focus from loneliness to activities you enjoy. Also experience the enjoyment and rewards of serving others that have less. Ask God to help you be content with what He has given you and to help put your focus on Him and not your loneliness.  You may realize while you are waiting, that He is working on you.